#Chesh FM 2020 Ep2 – Brexit means Brexit

After being in broiled in off the field politics last episode we had hoped this week or if it could be focused on the pitch. Alas not quite…

After last week’s dramatic start there was plenty of work still to do before we could focus on the pitch activities.

We started by allocating squad numbers. The lads have been invited to suggest their preferred number but with money not having bothered it was left open to the discretion of some very unreliable hands to make what were quite frankly questionable decisions! Suffice to say that if you’ve got the numbers they will have to, with the rest getting random at best. Here is a list of the final squad numbers;

With plenty of players undoubtedly upset by their allocated squad number it was time to move onto tactics, formation and starting lineup. After establishing themselves in the starting lineup, Conor Porteous and Chris Cruickshanks sensibly so fit to delegate the remaining positions to poor old Rob Boon, Was left to make the big decisions. Controversially the gaffers son was dropped to the bench and dude found himself sitting beside him (obviously socially distancing) after Chris Cruickshanks cowardly made the call before dashing behind Rob for protection.

Before setting off on what was clearly a bargain basement cost preseason tour of China during a global pandemic which originated from our destination, We had a final bit of business to conduct, with contract renewal negotiations with Chris Cruickshanks and Michael White going superbly well (mainly because Chris’s agent was crap), but after unreasonable demands being made by Vitor Da Silva and Karl Brown we shelve them until January, With the only other person due to be out of contract next summer being Leon Williams he refused to even talk to us because he felt he was too good!

Bad news on the Adam Yazici front As we tragically failed in our application to get him a work permit. After an outrageous guilt trip nearly resulted in Chairman Mark Pollard giving him an outrageously generous contract, we eventually decided on letting Yaz go on loan to Ajax where he could Have loads of fun and hopefully get enough game time to get in the work permit!

Given this is a football game you’ll be glad to hear we did eventually get to play our first preseason tour in China. Obviously complying with social distancing rules we are absolutely hammered Shenzhen 4-0 with everybody getting a game despite strong protest from newly crowned player of the season who had clearly spent too much time watching the Michael Jordan documentary. Here is the match report:

You of course remain vital to our ongoing drive to lift the Premier League title. We still need you to send us suggestions on tactics, players we can buy for free (bearing in mind we have £24 million in debt) and of course how to continue to bully unwanted loanee, Ryan Bennett.

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